Connecting with your partner

Once a baby comes into the picture, the dynamic of the relationship with your partner changes — in many ways. One of the things that seemed to be a running issue in our house was finding time to connect with my husband. I would be home all day, and he at work, and the minute he came through the door I would want to rattle off a million things. I was desparate for adult conversion and also wanted to share any news about the baby. I also often had questions about  things that we needed to decide together, but that I handled on the detail end. He, in turn, had been dealing with adults (I use that term lightly) all day and just wanted “peace”, as he would put it. He was at his limit for complaints, making decisions, and quite frankly, even  just making conversation.

Eating out well — on the road

 

Road trips can be difficult for families that are concerned with eating real, nutritious, and delicious food while traveling. I have always dreamed of a day when an organic chain would open up and be right there at the travel plaza next to the Bob Evans and McDonalds. Yes, we pack our food – bring healthy snacks, etc. – but even I get tired of this. Crumbs everywhere, my legs surrounded with coolers and bags and every few hours having to dig through the bag so someone can eat. Then, once we land in some small town to visit family, my dinner choices out are often TGI Fridays or Applebees. Fortunately I am finding out that you can find some chain restaurants that are taking some care to what goes into their foods. Not only that, but the desire to eat well is spreading… fast. You can find ways to accommodate your passion for nourishing food, even on the road.

The All American and Healthy 4th of July!

When it comes to food, the 4^thof July holiday means hamburgers, hot dogs, cole slaw and ice cream.  There is no reason not to celebrate the holiday with the all of the American foods you like – just choose your ingredients  wisely.

My Weekly Shopping Trip – Part 2: The Meals

This is my experiment with keeping track of what my family eats during a full week. As I mentioned on the previous post (My weekly shopping trip – Part 1), I spent $160 at the market on Monday afternoon and here is the result of that shopping trip.

My Weekly Shopping Trip – Part 1: The grocery list

A couple of weeks ago I decided to keep track of all the meals for my whole family for a week.  Now let me tell you, this is a bit of a challenge for me especially since I don’t work well with set menus and making plans ahead of time.  I’m more comfortable just having food in the pantry/refrigerator and letting my days guide my meals. It all depends on my mood, how much time I have, what activities my family has going on, etc. So keeping track of everything took some discipline.

Cloth Diapering by Stephanie Daniel

After having my second child, with one still in diapers, I became increasingly uncomfortable with the amount of diapers I was throwing into the dump everyday. I was extremely interested in cloth diapering- but it was SO OVERWHELMING! There were so many kinds and ways of doing it. There was so much on line about washing- all seeming so complicated. If I was not so committed, I would have not proceeded. But I did, and luckily I found Stephanie of Abby’s Lane (www.abbyslane.com).

Picnic Season

Summer is around the corner which means Picnic season is here! Late spring/early summer is my favorite time for picnics – the flowers are still in bloom and it’s not yet 100 degrees!

I am lucky enough to have a beautiful park across the street from me, but you can certainly take your picnic to your backyard or even your own living room.  Try moving some furniture around and laying a colorful picnic blanket over you living room rug and have fun – the kids will love it!

And there is no need for a big production.  With the variety of summer fruits and veggies that we are starting to see at the farmer’s markets, a delicious and nutritious picnic is a breeze to prepare.

Stick with a good variety of raw and cooked veggies, lots of fruit and some tasty extras.  Keep it baby/toddler friendly by making lots of finger foods.  Your little one will love seeing the whole family eating with their fingers.

All you need is a few containers with lids, a couple of zip bags and a bottle for water or a refreshing drink.  I would also recommend investing on a reusable, earth friendly “all occasion” flatware set like bamboo plates and “sporks”.  A sturdy canvas bag and you are all set to enjoy a great meal outdoors with the whole family. 

There is so much you could do for a picnic.  I like to keep things simple, kid friendly, seasonal and fun.  A great way to start is by going to your local farmer’s market. Check out what they have that week and what looks good to you.  I try to always make a point of trying new things. Greens I’ve never heard of, different roots or herbs.  And don’t be shy to ask your farmers what to do with them… most folks at the stands at the market will be able to give you a handful of ideas of how to cook something.

This week at my farmer’s market in NYC we got to see a lot more greens (finally!).  Lots of spinach, baby bokchoy, mustard greens, Chard, wild arugula, baby salad greens, various herbs, asparagus, onions, scallions, rhubarb and a variety of mushrooms.   We also have great artisanal cheeses, whole grain bread, fish, organic meats and pasture fed cow’s milk and yogurt.  So, based on this weeks bounty, I decided to give you some examples  for a delicious seasonal picnic. Keep in mind that depending on where you are, you might already be seeing a lot more,  or less variety at your local market.  Make the most of what your growing season is and have fun.

Here we go:

Asparagus 

Mix Spring Greens and Mushroom “Pie”

Turkey Sandwiches with Arugula and Rhubarb Spread

Rhubarb and Strawberry Compote

Always great to have some whole grain crackers with good quality cheese, or a homemade spread like Roasted Mushrooms and Parsley Pate

Make sure to adapt any recipes to your family’s needs and tastes. 

Have a great picnic!!

Being Present

I’ve been listening to “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose”, by Eckhart Tolle.  Got it on audio book so I could take it with me when I go for walks with my dog. And I didn’t get it because it’s on Oprah’s book club — kudos to her for putting a book like this on her book list — but because I had read his previous book “The Power of Now” and it had made an impact on me.

“A New Earth” is so far just as great as his previous book.  It’s the kind of message that I, in my judgmental have-been-in-NY-for-too-long point of view, did not think the majority of the population would be ready to digest.  But as the author points out right from the get go, humanity is just now opening itself to awakening.  I certainly need some of that!

On chapter two of the book he shares some thoughts on parenting that really hit home for me today.  It reminded me of the fact that from a “being” point of view my kids are my equals and I’m here to allow them to be who they are, without playing into society’s role of what a parent is supposed to be.

Easier said than done, I know!  But reminding ourselves to be present at each moment with our kids can only result in a more mindful experience of parenting.

This morning (after my walk with the dog listening to all the wonderful insights from Eckhart Tolle) my son was having a real hard time getting ready for school.  And I was having an even harder time trying at keep my cool as I worked HARD at getting him to eat his breakfast and get dressed fast enough so not to be late for school.  Towards the end I found myself yelling at him as he stared at me totally unaware of what was going on.  After he left I was FINALLY able to put some thought into what had happened.  It was as if my son was not even present as I yelled at him.  Because he wasn’t!!  It was I reacting on MY OWN expectations of him and of what needed to happen at that moment.  To be present is, in many ways, to allow yourself to step back and see the situation as an exchange between two EQUAL beings, playing different roles.

I’m sure I’ll have plenty of opportunities to practice being present with my kids… there are plenty of buttons to push!!  In the meantime I’ll keep listening to the book.

I would certainly recommend ECKHART TOLLE’s books. And would love to hear about your experiences with trying to stay present in your interactions with your kids.

Finding Your Time

No matter how old your kids are, most moms seem to have a hard time finding time for themselves. There are just not enough hours in a day and there is so much to get done. We tell it to ourselves all the time. What we seem to forget is that unless we take the time to “recharge” ourselves, we won’t have the energy, the patience or the health to do anything to our best ability, including being a mom!

First it is essential to recognize the importance of taking care of yourself and remember the things that are important to you and how you feel when you have more of those things in your life. That memory might be a first step in making your time a priority.

Here are a few tips on finding more time for yourself:

Get organized – having a daily organizer or a calendar where you can set some time aside for yourself is essential. If you are a stay at home mom, pencil in even the cleaning time or the cooking time. Always make sure to pencil in YOU time. Treat YOU TIME as if it was as important as feeding your child or going to work — because it is!!! Stick to a schedule as best as you can but also remember to leave time for spontaneity and mishaps. Also, make sure to create a schedule together with your partner to make sure that you are both taking personal time.

If you have a newborn or little baby – forget about cleaning the house and doing all the chores every time your baby is asleep. Take some of this time to rest if you need to or to do the things that are fulfilling to you. Read a book, take a bubble bath, call a friend, knit, draw, or anything that will reconnect YOU with yourself. If you need to get some chores done, see if you can do something just for you first, that way you will be sure to get it in.

Kids thrive on routines -create a bedtime and nap routine that will free up some time for you. This might take some work and time in the beginning but once it’s established it will make life much easier.

Share playtime with a neighbor or friend – Finding others moms in your area that you trust can be a lifesaver. Sometimes you can take the kids and sometimes your neighbor takes the kids. That way both of you can have some time.

Save time for you and your partner together — Most new parents tend to let go of that precious time together. Create a date night every week — you might think it’s ridiculous and you don’t need it–but make a habit of it. You don’t have to go out every time, but make sure to turn the TV, the phone, the computer off and just BE together.

Working moms – take an extra hour after work away from home every once in a while. Go for a walk, get a pedicure, sit at a quite place and read a book. Anything that makes you feel good. If you are able, take some time during work, even if it is 15 minutes, to get up and walk outside. If you can take longer, go out to lunch, see a friend, or have a date with your partner!

Put a limit on your email/phone time — so you don’t find yourself getting sucked into it for a long time. Try putting an alarm clock on. Once the alarm goes off, turn your computer off and move on.

If you’re pregnant make sure to start putting your time as a priority and creating the habit of taking time for yourself. Once the baby is born things will change a lot but hopefully you’ll have created the habit of personal time, which will make the transition a bit easier. Start working on that concept with your partner before the baby is even born.

These are just some ideas. Each mom and child will have a different situation. Look at your life and maybe try to find one suggestion that you can try next week to help you find more personal time. And please share with us your thoughts, concerns or ways that you have found that worked when trying to get some personal time.